AHHHHHHHH weight

I need motivation and while ive been soo far good about working out i need to get better with it. I have lost 2 lbs, the most since starting my on and off diet program. I am seeing results just not the way i always expect. I don't want to be fat. i need to keep my energy high and my mind focused. Vacation is only a few days away.

Seeing the Lbs drop

The workout plan and current calorie counting have already shown some great improvement in the way I fit clothes. I am around a solid 119 definitely under 120 and making the trend toward a pound a week of weightloss. I'm not really caring too much on the scale number as long as my body looks more tone.

My fav workout so far has been the elliptical. I blast a ton of calories which has been making it easier to create the necessary deficient for my weight loss goals. I also in corporate ea active and now adding in some maya time too with yourself fitness for strength training. Can't have sexy muscles with just cardio.

Nutrition wise I've been eating pretty well. Calorie counting has been great because I don't have let go of the foods I love just eat smaller portions of them.

Current Inspiration

The binge and Rebound

I had a minor binge Monday but I was also doing a full restday , no exercise what so ever. I had sushi, made cookies and in general had a somewhat unhealthy day. Tuesday was much better but i was still feeling the after effects of the binge and ate not as much as Monday but more then what I should have. I did do more exercise combining ea active and some elliptical. It gave a better deficit but I should have been under 1000 cal including exercise and didn't make that.

I feel better and was surprised I wasn't sore from doing the elliptical even though I was sweating like a pig. I really enjoyed it and the time went by so fast. I wasn't expecting to feel so quick. I burned mega cals on it but I need strength training if I expect to see any tone muscles.

I'm back on track and the biggest change for me has been understanding the scale. As much as I want it to budge, I also don't fret the number because I'm seeing such a change in my body. The best thing thing though is that I have lost a solid two pounds. I am fluctuating around 119-121 now which was better then the 120-124 numbers I was seeing before. I'm making strides toward my goal and I'm still motivated to get there. I may not lose 2 lb by next week but I may lose 5lbs this month by sticking to my routine of cardio and strength.

Keep watching what I eat and keep wanting to be strong, sexy, toned.

What to do?

I'm feeling pretty restless. I want to workout to 30day shred but have been hating level 1. I watched some of level 2 and definitely like that more. I really hate all the lunges in lvl 1 and more then anything that's discouraging me from working out. I like jillian but lvl 1 is a bore fest. I want to try yoga meltdown but I'm not sure if I could keep up or if I'm strong enough. My arms are getting more toned for sure and I do feel the workouts like crazy when using weights. Maybe lvl 1 30day just isn't for me. I know tomorrow i'm going to start doing doing fat blaster/ more turbo jam for cardio which may replace 30 day as a whole. Finding a good fitness plan can be hard and often times I can't help but fall for a seemingly easy plan (turbo jam, slim in 6, 10 minute trainer) to get to my goals. I guess I like constant variety and if I do something for longer then 2 weeks I get bored.

Finding something that works is going to be my key to maintenance.

Why I do it?

Being skinny. What does it really mean to me? It has always been an interesting subject. From feeling so fat no one likes me to not really understanding my body at all. In high school I had a weird perception of my body. I didn't know fit, how to style myself or even proper sizing which led me to feel even more insecure about myself. Being skinny meant a lot of things like being liked, being pretty and just being popular. When I first started working out in any capacity it was the summer I thought I was going to break up with b. I was anticipating being hurt that summer so started to workout via a routine in seventeen and cosmo. It changed everything. I saw a change in my body and I liked it. I weighed 114 that summer, a shocker and felt good in a bikini.

Exercise empowered me but I was still thinking superficially about it. One line from b completely derailed all my efforts and it took almost a year and a half to get back any semblance of wanting to change my body. In 2008 of that january I finally started to workout again and using my room as a gym I was successful for about a month till a series of unfortunate events ended my efforts again in april. I couldn't do anything and I steadily gained weight through 08 till the summer of 09 when I once again took a stand with my health and feelings.

I never felt good being fat. I never felt good carry around a muffin top, not fitting jeans proper or sucking in to fake a slighty flat tummy. In the summer of 09 I took a different approach to why i do it and I decided that doing it for someone else isn't enough motivation. I think thats why it was so easy for me to lose track and give up. This past summer the only reason I really stopped was because of the move. I gained some of the weight I lost during the summer and then some rounding out at 125 I believe at my highest. I've started to take a more forward approach with making fitness a priority even when its not possible. I feel better when I complete it. I feel accomplished, I see results and my mood is better.

I have a ways to go but I know why I do it. I do it for my health and happiness. No shortcuts. I feel stronger capable of doing anything.

Sticking with it

My eating lately hasn't been great but I have been trying to keep my calories under control. The most I've eaten so far was a very high 1500 day that while made up with some exercise didn't help my weight loss goals. I missed one day of 30 day shred but did do wii sports more active. I'm really feeling some change in my body but of course I want faster and faster results.

The biggest problem is not having self restraint. B talked me into some fries yesterday and i just felt bad the whole time. I tried to make up for it with a smaller dinner but I'm not sure if i really hit my target.

This Sunday is going to be my one week with a consistent plan. I want to start incorporating more cardio which I hope will help with my goals more then just the strength/minimal cardio program i have now.

Today my goal is just to get through shred's leve two circuit of lunges. I hate them sooooooo much. Almost as much as the side lunges with a raise in circuit 3.


Strong toned sexy me is 30 days away.

New Day New Outlook

Today i wok up pretty energized. Not nearly as tired or drowsy like days past. I ate a pretty hearty breakfast with a fried egg and the rest of my chicken breast from dinner plus some oj. Around 300 calories which will help me get through my workday. I was really aiming on food that would stick with me. On Days I work I go 6 hrs without food whicjh can lead to a binge upon returning home.

I haven't worked out yet but plan to sometime today before bed. I will probably do jillian as I'm excited to see how far I can go in 30 days. April seems far away but its all too close with my weightloss goals.

Good day, feeling good and Ready to bring my A game.